Grading myself...all F's!

Back in my day (or in the "Olden Times" as our son likes to say), F's were not a good thing on your report card. They basically meant you failed or you didn't have passing knowledge about a certain subject or two. You didn't want to bring F's home from school. 

Today is the last day of our first full month of homeschooling. Wow! I can't believe we've reached this milestone and no one in our home is continuously crying, running away or missing a limb. Not only did we survive...but we actually thrived!

That being said, I thought I should grade myself, the mom/teacher/administrator/cook/nurse/cook  of our homeschooling adventure. Our son is doing great!  He is still adjusting, detoxing from the old stress of "regular school", but he is a champion at homeschooling- and my husband and I are very proud of him.

On the other hand, how am I doing??? I'm giving myself all F's, but not what you may think! Here is my report card:

• Faith-  You have to have a lot of faith as a homeschooling parent. Not only in the traditional sense (and however you may practice your faith), but faith in yourself and your family. We consider ourselves a Christian family, so we're thankful to God and to His Son, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for all of our blessings and for guiding us through our challenges! There were a few days (and nights) that I was uncertain if this was still the right thing for our family, but my faith got me through those times. The other great thing about this past month?  We were able to incorporate our faith in our homeschooling.  Daily Bible readings and morning prayers were a comforting way to begin our homeschooling days. Homeschooling nurtures our faith...and allows our faith to grow.
• Fortitude-  Homeschooling is NOT the faint of heart or spirit! The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines fortitude as "strength of mind that enables, one to meet danger or bear pain or adversity with courage". We joined a HUGE minority of families that chose to homeschool their children, for whatever reasons, and journey into the unknown! When you make the decision to homeschool, you may be judged, questioned and or even teased ("Oh! You're one of them, now?"). You have to continuously defend your decision- whether it be your school district, neighborhood, peers, etc. That's OK. You're an underdog now...and I always root for the underdog!
• Flexibility- You must be flexible in your attitude, time and methods of teaching. I had every intention to use a lot of one curriculum and supplement with a little from another curriculum. However, as we progressed through the month, I learned that I needed to be more flexible (and I thought I was already pretty flexible to begin with). So, I tweaked...and tweaked...and tweaked again. Tweaking = Flexibility. Flexibility = Better Learning.
• Fun- Fun, fun, fun! This is huge! Why do you want to homeschool?  I'm sure you may have many reasons, but hopefully this is a big one! We wanted to remind our son that learning is (and always will be)fun...if you have the right attitude! Learning is an adventure. A journey.  An experience that should be tailored to fit your child. Not the other way around.  It should not be a chore, a job or a "one size fits all" process.

This past month, I've learned that I have faith, fortitude, flexibility and that I can make learning fun.  The good kind of F's.

Things that make us say...

Top 10 things that make this new-to-homeschooling family say "Blah! Ugh! Good Grief!"-

1. Homeschooling paperwork....did I mention that we live in NY, one of the most regulated states in the country for homeschooling?
2. This one comes from my husband (and fellow homeschoolers will know what we're talking about!) You tell someone that you're a homeschooling family and they give you the look....which is a combination of surprise-disbelief-aghast-and-being-judged.
3. This cold, winter weather has over-extended its stay.  It's Spring, for Pete's Sake, and they're talking about another snowstorm???
4. Your kid is in puberty.
5. Your kid is in puberty and he has an attitude.
6. Your kid is in puberty, he has an attitude and he constantly rolls his eyes at you.
7. Your kid  is in puberty, he has an attitude, he constantly rolls his eyes at you and you realize that there is not enough chocolate in your house to comfort you.
8. You can't write off your homeschooling expenses. Some states allow this, but of course, our state does not...see #1 for reinforced frustration.
9. Your homeschool student doesn't appreciate your inner-science-geek! Additionally, your husband doesn't understand why you can't stop buying science kits.
10. You still don't have enough time to read the books, magazines and countless emails that you have acquired about the topic of homeschooling.

Back to the Daily Grind!

Of course, I say that very tongue in cheek...for me, there is nothing monotonous or even remotely boring about homeschooling (ask me in a year, I may have a different answer)! I love being a homeschool mom- every day we learn something new. Every day, I get to teach our son and nurture his newly rediscovered love for learning. The "a-ha" moments are simply the best!

Yesterday was a good day. We had a few homeschool hours in the morning, then my husband and I took our son to his new specialist. The good news?  His GI condition may be chronic and it may take him a while to get better, but he doesn't need surgery and things can be managed with medications and the like. So, he is going to be OK and everything will be resolved in time.Whew! 
Thank you, Jesus! Praise to You, Dear God! We are truly blessed beyond measure!

So, its back to the grindstone for us! Back to work! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho and all that jazz!
And you know what? That's A-OK with me!

Silver Lining

Over the past few weeks, while we've been homeschooling, we've also been dealing with something negative. Unfortunately, our son is no stranger to chronic medical concerns. Some GI issues have worsened. He had to go to the ER on Thursday.  We need to see a pediatric GI specialist on Monday. We're not sure what's happening, but it is scaring my husband and me...and causing our poor boy much pain, grief and frustration.

To say that I've been stressed would be an understatement. I feel completely helpless. Any mom knows that feeling helpless, while your child in in pain or sick, is the worst feeling you could have as a parent.  I just want to fix things and make it all better, but I can't...at least not right now. That just stinks. This is the time when I have to completely put our son in the hands of God. Give him to God.  God knows my boy far better than we do and He will take care of our son. It is so hard, but I know that I have to have faith...and I do.

The silver lining in this whole situation?  We've had the flexibility of homeschooling during this time.  On those days he wasn't feeling 100%, we were able to do our lessons on the couch. Homeschooling has actually been something fun and a routine that we can still do at home. It gives us something to look forward to- both of us. This past Friday was the first day he took "off", as I just wanted him to rest. We can do that. We can make up hours at anytime (and I've been doing a good job of keeping track of those hours). During this time, we can homeschool with confidence...and that is something for which my husband and I are very thankful!

The drive that became a gift for me.

This is a random picture my son took during our drive today....after our conversation.

 

Today, my son and I went for a drive at lunchtime (one of the fabulous perks of homeschooling!). We were heading to my uncle's uniform store for those who work in law enforcement, rescue / emergency personnel, etc. My uncle (who is a retired police officer) and my aunt have been running this wonderful business, and service to our community, for more than 15 years.  My son hopes to volunteer there, once a week, and learn about running a business. He is also fascinated with law enforcement and emergency personnel , so he also hopes to learn more about those important and heroic professions.  This is one of the many, many things that I'm learning about homeschooling....you can take your child's interests and create meaningful volunteer activities or hands-on projects.

Anyways, I know he is excited during this drive and we keep the conversation light on our way there. You know, things like "Look at the melting snow." or "It's so warm today."- the usual chatting and conversation for about 10 minutes.

Then, there is a lull in the conversation. I don't say anything since I catch him looking out of the window, like he is about to say something serious. So, I let it be quiet for about a minute.

"Mom. Thank you so much for homeschooling me.', he tells me. Whoa...I try not to swerve off the road or start hysterically crying tears of joy. This is huge from an 11 year old boy. Tears are filling my eyes, even now as I type this post.

Totally spontaneous and totally unplanned. Yet, that "thank you" was the best one I've ever received in my life. Especially because I still have the occasional fear about our decision to homeschool. Is he OK?  Is he happy? Are we doing the right thing?

"I am so happy to be homeschooling you, buddy." I tell him, "You're telling me that is the best gift I could ever get." I say, fighting back my tears.

"Mom You're homeschooling me is the best gift I know I could ever get." he says.

"Thank You, God!" I prayed silently as I drove, "Thank You for answering any lingering doubts that I ever had about homeschooling."

And that's how our drive became my gift...

This is How WE Do Decompression! (Intro to Decompression-Part 2)

There are many ways to unwind.  Relaxation techniques, reading, listening to music, being outdoors, prayer, meditation, walking....just to name a few.  I've quickly learned that unwinding is a very subjective thing. What works for many folks may not work for others. Specifically, what works for some family members may not work for other members of the same family. This post is about our dichotomy of decompression. (Incidentally, that would make a great name for an alternative or punk band!)

My husband and son have the same birthday.  My guys are two peas in a pod and share many interests, like all things technology, cars and action movies. Their idea of relaxation is to spend a whole day fishing on a boat in the middle of a lake in Vermont.

On the other hand, I am a Type A woman /wife/  mom. I like to stay active. I love to run, bake and shop for cute purses on sale. Being active is a good way for me to relax. I'm the mom you can't stand because I come complete with calendars, notebooks and organizers. I like everything in its place (which is a HOOT when you have an 11 1/2 year old son who thinks laundry should permanently remain on the floor of his bedroom). I plan ahead and don't like surprises. Go figure. This mom, who doesn't like surprises, has completely jumped in and embraced the homeschooling lifestyle all in the matter of a couple of weeks!

That being said...here is what I've learned about our decompression period during our first week of school-

1. Decompression is relative. For many people, it can be a passive thing. For us, however, it was immediately letting go stress and maintaining some activity with a new schedule. I thought, for sure, that my kid would want to take a breather academically for at least a day or two. Many folks in the homeschooling community recommend taking days, weeks or even months off. No formal academic plan and let the child control his or her daily schedule. Did my kid want to do this? Heck, no! I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my son wanted to jump right into his new, online homeschool curriculum (and the supplemental workbooks and worksheets I had prepared for him). Turns out, he actually enjoys learning and he didn't want that to stop at all.
2. Where he did want to scale back was socially. This threw me for a loop. I was ready to scale back on the studies and start setting up new social activities, since he that was his favorite part of regular school. He is also an only child. Socialization is one of our few concerns about homeschooling. Wrong again! He is happily chatting, Face Timing and keeping in touch with his close friends.  He has told me that he just wanted a week or so of "relaxing solo", he'll be ready for the hangouts with old friends and meeting up with new homeschooling kids.
3. Being a Type A mom, I've found lesson planning our academic days is enjoyable during this decompression period! I'm a music therapist and early childhood music teacher. I'm slowly putting my career on hiatus, so I can focus on being a homeschool mom. As a music therapist and early childhood music teacher, I've been lesson planning for many years and it is second nature to me. What I didn't expect was to really like lesson planning for things like math, social studies and science.  Don't get me started on how I can't enter a Michael's or AC Moore without buying materials to make a model of a molecule of oxygen or an electrical experiment. I'm a total science geek.
4.  Old habits die hard...but new joys are quickly embraced! For us, decompression means change.  What we're doing is letting go of old schedules, meetings, paperwork and mind sets.  By letting these things go, we're welcoming more time, discovery, choices and experiences.  Since we live in a highly regulated state for homeschooling (NY), I need to be specific and up-to-date when recording our required hours, curriculum notes and progress. Got it. Check! Where I can be loosey-goosey is in the day-to-day activities. Math in the morning on Monday, but in the afternoon on Tuesday. We added an extra science module on Wednesday, because we loved the unit on atomic structure. Today, my son needed some extra time his math module review so he could really understand some new concepts.  THIS is one of the many wonderful things about homeschooling!  No more cookie cutter.  If he needs extra time, he gets it and its as simple as that. 

Our decompression period may not seem like it to most homeschoolers.  But for us, it works!  Decompression is subjective and for some its active, for others its very passive. At the end of the day, you do what works for your kid and for your family. During our first week of homeschooling, we've had no fighting, rushing around or meltdowns. This is decompression.
So...buh-bye, old way of doing things and hello to big changes!

Introduction to the Decompression Period - The "Why" Behind It

Almost every homeschooling parent has told me about the decompression period . That strange and magical time when you and your child transition from "regular school" to homeschool. You get to downshift a few gears. In the homeschooling articles and books that I've been reading, it is emphasized that this period is essential to help the transition for your child into the homeschool way of life. Decompression gives kids the chance to slowly release the stress that they have endured in most of their student lives. I knew my kid was overwhelmed, frustrated and struggling (you've probably heard me say that before) by regular school. However, I didn't realize to what extent until this week. Then I thought (and thought) and realized this decompression period has been a long time coming...and here is why!

Think about it. Babies play and interact with the world around them in silly and fun ways. Toddlers and preschoolers make play as their "work", such as going to the playground, building forts with blocks or going to different stations of their classroom. That is how they learn and explore the world around them. If you've been blessed enough to spend enough time with younger children, you're able to experience their excitement when they learn and discover new things. When children are very young, their work is very hands on and, for the most part, learning is still very fun for them. Perhaps, the most exciting part about being in a preschool or kindergarten class is the emphasis on creativity.

However, as that child grows and becomes school age- school work, sitting still and listening to the teacher becomes his or her work. This work becomes more and more behavior and direction focused. The shift from the multi sensory learning, that kids experience in preschool and kindergarten, decreases as the child advances in elementary school.  Slowly, the child must make the change from  hands-on work to more and more left-brain thinking. Much emphasis is placed on skills, such as being still, test taking and meeting classroom expectations. If you're a child who learns differently or who requires a multi sensory approach to learning, this shift can be delayed...or worst, never happen.

As a student in the upper grades of elementary school, you work 6 or so hours at school and then you get homework. As you get older, your homework increases exponentially each year.  I'm finally realizing how stressful must it be, for a child, to be told what to do all day, how to do it, when to do it and then do more of it at home. Day in and day out. After a long day of classwork, a child then has to come home to homework, extra-curricular activities and a super-busy schedule. 

It is no wonder why children who go from "regular school" need this decompression period into homeschool.   Tune in next time to the nuts and bolts of Decompression Period and what it looks like in our home.

Top ten lists from our first day of homeschool...

Ten things that I learned about myself during our first day of homeschool-

1. Time does fly while you're having fun learning.
2. I LOVE to sleep in a little later!
3. I think that I have finally learned how to spell the word curriculum. It really helps when you've seen the word 6.792 times during a one week period.
4. Flexible schedules rule!
5. I'm good at record keeping. Our dog, Max, is quite good at sleeping through our lessons.
6. We have an amazingly supportive group of family, friends, new homeschooling friends and health care professionals!
7. I have no idea when I'm going to finish reading my two homeschooling books or begin reading the hundreds of new emails about homeschooling that are in my inbox.
8. This blogging thing is pretty awesome.  Thank you all in advance for your patience as I develop my blogging skills!
9. The apartment isn't as messy as I thought it would be.  Hmm....
10. I am hoping this "Homeschooling Honeymoon Period" never ends because I AM LOVING HOMESCHOOL!

Ten things that I learned about our son during our first day of homeschool-

1. My kid loves to discuss current events.
2. He may "learn at his own pace", but when he gets something...he REALLY gets it!
3. He is incredibly motivated and truly wants to learn as much as he can.
4. My kid is way more independent than I thought!
5. He is very well-behaved, thoughtful and polite. I always knew this, however, today was a great reminder of this fact.
6. My kid learned that homeschooling has unique distractions, such as the continuous snoring of a yellow lab named Max!
7. My kid is incredibly resilient.
8. He loves history, science and word finds.
9. He is good in math and he FINALLY realizes it!
10. My kid can do anything that he sets his mind to.....so look out, everyone! Consider yourself forewarned!

 

We just took the red pill...

We used to be a family whose parents had attended many, many meetings. A family who had a sea of documents, plans and recommendations. Too much negative and not enough positive. We used to be a family whose kid who was exhausted, defeated and confused.  We used to be a family with a dog who gave us very sad looks every time his humans fought over homework, unrealistic expectations and exasperation.

"What about homeschooling?"  If you had asked me that question five years ago, I probably would have burst out laughing! Not because I thought the idea was absurd - I've always thought that homeschooling was an amazing way for children (and their families) to have an education, explore and grow. However, I always thought it took a very special parent to homeschool....and I never thought of myself as having the fortitude or creativity to be a homeschooling parent. 

In a scene from the movie "The Matrix", Morpheus offers Neo a blue pill and a red pill. If Neo takes the blue pill, he wakes up in his bed and won't remember a thing. Morpheus then tells Neo, "You take the red pill- you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." Things change very quickly and life is funny thing. A week ago we had a kid who was overwhelmed, frustrated and struggling in public school. A week ago, we were at our breaking point. Tomorrow, we start our son's education as a homeschooling family. We feel like we just took the red pill. 

This is not another blog about how to homeschool, since I am brand new to this world of homeschooling, This weekend, I've joined 5 websites, 3 email lists and 2 parent groups about homeschooling. We're learning about this as we go. Heck, I'm not even halfway through my "Homeschooling for Dummies" book and I just started my the introduction of "The Everything Homeschooling Book" (Yes, I can read more than one book at a time...but that's another post!).  When it comes to the world of homeschooling, I'm the "rookiest" of the rookies, greenest of the green, newest of the newbies.

Our son made me promise that my blog won't be about him. He is 11 1/2  years old and a tween boy who doesn't want any extra attention on him. He is the kind of kid who shudders at the thought of speaking in public. (He did, however, just look over my shoulder and told me it was OK to say that!)

Nope. Not about the "how-to's", "what to do's" or the sob stories of our educational past. Instead, this is a blog about our new journey as a homeschooling family. Our new world and our new way of life. Tales of a transformation. Getting used to a new way of thinking. Funny stories. Ponderings. Musings. Goofy things. Good things to come.

And maybe...just maybe....we can even inspire a few families to join us down the rabbit hole of homeschooling.