Expectation: (noun) a belief that something will happen or is likely to happen; a feeling or belief about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be. (Merriam-Webster Online).
When you become a parent, you quickly learn that the world around you puts expectations on your child. Books tell you "what to expect"- when your child will start eating solid foods, when your child should talk or even when to expect your child to use the potty (ha)!
Of course, expectations only increase as your child gets older. Social expectations, developmental expectations and educational expectations become the norm for the parent. If any of you ever had the displeasure of parent-teacher conferences that were, um, disappointing....you know what I'm talking about!
"He should be able to sit still in circle time."
"She needs to learn how to write her name."
"He needs to know how to write his homework assignment on his own."
"She shouldn't have tantrums at her age."
Yada, yada, yada. Raise your hand if you've ever had a teacher (or anyone else) share their expectations with you. Realistic or not, expectations put a lot of pressure on your kid. Then reality hits....the expectation is not met, or its met later than you planned. See, that's the thing about expectations...you're usually disappointed when they're not met "on time"!
I learned a loooong time ago that kids work on their own time schedules. Expectations should only be guidelines, not the rule. Expectations can be stressful, especially when a child is aware that he or she isn't "doing" the same thing as their peers. For the past few years, I am sorry to say, that we paid too much attention to the expectations that were placed on our son. The sadder part was when he exceeded expectations in other areas of his life, we didn't celebrate them as much as we could have...since we were so worried about the other things.
As a homeschool mom, I've learned its SO much better to set goals for your child instead of expectations. You see, your child can set his or her own deadline for a goal. If he or she doesn't meet the deadline, that's OK! It can be tweaked. You can adjust the deadline of a goal, but you don't have to give up! Expectation, by its very nature, ties its success to an outside standard or belief in when the deadline should be met. With an expectation, the success lies in the timeline. However, a goal is more personal and its success is measure more in the journey.
That is my goal for 2015....to learn more about the journey of learning and less about when we "should arrive" at its destination.
