Worst Case Scenario

Worry. I used to be an expert on making mountains out of molehills. What if the car breaks down? Could this headache be meningitis? Is that a funnel cloud on the horizon?  I had a big problem in worrying about the "what ifs" in life. What if the worst case scenario would happen?

Turns out, this year was a year of worst case scenarios. Things like-

• Having to pull your kid out of school mid-year 
• Finding out that your kid has another chronic illness
• Four ER trips for above mentioned kid
• Breaking a foot
• One ER trip for above mentioned mom
• A yellow lab slipping a disc in his spine THE NIGHT BEFORE the first homestudy visit
• One ER trip for the poor, above mentioned dog
• Postponing travel plans for a big, family trip
• And more.. 

Oy. You get the idea. "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst" was a motto of my younger days. I thought that I could better control the situation by preparing myself. Psyching myself and eventually praying for the situation to never happen.

I.HAD.IT.ALL.WRONG.

You can't prepare yourself for the worst case scenario. At least, not mentally, physically or emotionally. You can, however, prepare yourself spiritually.

This year, I've learned that faith is the only way you will make it through the worst case scenario. I've also learned that trials prepare you and help you grow...to be blessed. Today, our pastor gave an amazing teaching from the Book of James about how trials are tools to build our faith and bring us closer to God. Trials are tests. We generally don't like tests. I never did and our son especially doesn't like tests (and yes, you still have tests in homeschool!).

Without the "worst case scenarios" of this year, we also wouldn't have had the best blessings of our lives. The opportunity to homeschool. The opportunity to spend extra time with family members around the country. Moving into an apartment that was a better fit for our family. Learning that we were finally ready to build our family again and taking the steps to adopt a second child. None of these blessings would have happened without the trials of this year.

If we change our mindset, and our "heartset", we can see that the worst case scenario is like a midterm or final exam. A test that will get us ready for the next step or blessing in our lives.

There's a beautiful song called " Blessings" by Laura Story. If you've never heard it, go listen to it! Worst case scenarios. Trials. Tribulations. Tests.

She sums it up so perfectly-

"'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
  What if your healing comes through tears?
  What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
  What if the trials in this life are Your mercies in disguise?"

I get it now.

Teachers' Lounge

I always thought the name "Teachers' Lounge" was a misnomer. "Teachers' Lounge" implies that teachers sit around, eat, drink & shoot the breeze....when they're probably trying to come up for air and just make it through the rest of their day (teaching) and night (planning / grading assignments). Teachers' Lounge??  Hardly! Maybe "Teachers' Bunker" or "Faculty Decompression Chamber"!

I still have a lot of respect for teachers, especially in today's society. In addition to teaching their students, they have a lot of other concerns to keep in mind. School and classroom safety, managing unruly behaviors, keeping up with standardized testing, budget cuts...you get the idea. Even though I'm a homeschool mom, my appreciation and gratitude still goes out to teachers.

Homeschool moms (and dads) juggle being teachers for a good part of the day on top of  their other household duties. 24/7. Math, reading, spelling AND vacuuming, dinner and laundry. (Dang! I forgot to take our laundry out of the dryer again!). No break. You're the teacher, cafeteria cook, janitor, nurse, librarian and principal....all rolled up into one person.

So, when do you plan it all? When do you take a breather? You do take breathers, don't you? As for me, "planning time" or "me time" doesn't make it high on my priority list.

I did something today that I don't like to do....I woke up early (Hey! I'm a homeschool mom of an adolescent boy, remember?). God Bless my wonderful husband for waking up so early every day to support our family! My commute from the bedroom to the living room is a lot shorter. I woke up early to help my husband out with something before he left for work and I actually stayed awake. I had about 2 hours of time for myself! I ate breakfast sitting down. I had extra time to read my Bible in peace and quiet. I got caught up on some emails. I lesson planned for a couple of extra weeks and did some prep work for new units. In other words, I didn't cram hours of work into a few minutes.

Maybe this "Teachers Lounge" concept is a little unrealistic for homeschoolers. However, I do hope the idea of "Teacher Time" or "Mom Time" will start to be a regular occurrence in my Google Calendar and in my overloaded Homeschool Planner.

Now, if you'll excuse me...its 10:15 pm and I still need to unload my dryer!

"Mom! Look on the bright side..."

Oy! It has been a rough, couple of weeks! About three weeks ago, our son was started to develop a partial blockage related to his GI condition.  It was causing him some pain and frustration. A couple of x-rays, doctor visits and an ER trip later, we got a handle on things and it cleared up. It was God's timing, as it cleared up the day before we took a long weekend to FL to visit my husband's parents.Whew! He was fine for our trip. We had a nice time visiting my in-laws and spending some quality time with them. We even snuck a couple of beach trips and I was able to spend an afternoon with my best friend since junior high.

The day after we came back from Florida, our son started developing an asthma flare. Our boy has been fighting chronic asthma since he was a baby and illness/allergies are his biggest triggers. So, where did he pick up this recent cough? Allergies? Waiting room at the GI doctor? Picking up a cold from the ER visit? A cold from flying on the airplane? Who knows where the cough and congestion came from? This cough was here to stay!

Our timeline for the past couple of weeks went something like this: bad cough, doctor call, begin OTC cold and allergy medicines, activate asthma action plan, more coughing, another doctor call, switch from inhalers to nebulizers, cough progresses, another doctor call, oral steroids, more coughing, another doctor call (BTW- we have an AWESOME pulmonologist who was able to help us manage this entire asthma flare without our son needing to come in for a visit), antibiotics, another doctor call. We also prayed without ceasing, threw in daily, pulse ox finger checks for good measure. Pushed liquids. Slept with one eye open in case he needed a nebulizer treatment at 12 am...and 4 am...and so on...

I think our fighter is finally getting over the worst of this asthma flare and it only took two whole weeks. Needless to say, it put a big damper on extra-curricular activities and outings. Thankfully as a homeschool family, we schooled when he was up for it and rested when he wasn't up for school. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the flexibility of our homeschool schedule?!?!!!

A couple of years ago, our son had a pretty bad asthma flare similar to this one. At the time, he was in regular school and he missed about two weeks of school. I sometimes forget how bad these asthma flare ups get until another one sneaks up on our boy.

Today, as I was giving my sweet kid his umpteenth nebulizer treatment, I told him "I'm sorry, honey, that I have to give you another breathing treatment! I know you're slowly getting better, but these are a drag, aren't they?". His reply? "Mom! Look on the bright side, I didn't have to go to the hospital or miss any school since we schooled in the summer!".

Those were his words. It has been a loooong time since he has said "Look on the bright side!". He used to be a "look on the bright side" kind of kid since he was a little guy. Then he got older and that stopped, for a long time. No more bright side.

This must mean that our wonderful son...the fighter... sees the bright side again! This is especially tough when you're an almost-teenage boy going through some health issues. He sees the bright side again, despite everything our poor kid has been through during these past few weeks. Sometimes, the most important things we can learn are the things we used to know from a long time ago.

THANK YOU, GOD!!!!!!

"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; Save me and I will be saved, for You are my praise."
- Jeremiah 17:14

Time to breathe!

Whew! Its been a whirlwind during these past, several weeks.

Packing, schooling, change of address emails/phone calls/paperwork, more packing, moving, unpacking, more schooling, a little bit of decorating, more unpacking, even more schooling and getting ready for our homestudy classes. Yowza! We've been working hard.

I've barely had time to catch my breath...until now. So, while we're breathing and decompressing (and still unpacking), I thought I'd share a few things that have made me say "Ahh!" during these recent days:

• The two skylights and plentiful, natural light in our new apartment.
• The QUIET in our new apartment!
• Spending time with our homeschool friends.
• Knowing that our son LOVES his new, twice-a-month, co-op group and his once-a-month, outdoor wilderness classes.
• Knowing that our son also loves being in Civil Air Patrol! What??? You're the parent of a 12-18 year old son or daughter who may be interested in the Air Force & you've NEVER heard of Civil Air Patrol?????  www.gocivilairpatrol.com
• A few hours of downtime at Panera (free Wi-Fi!) + my Basic Airman Cadet at his weekly Civil Air Patrol meeting =  dinner treat for this mama and a new, blog post! 
• Racking up extra homeschool hours during the summer...another vacation to Florida at the end of this month (that also deserves a woo-hoo!).
• Knowing that an amazing, little girl will someday (hopefully soon) come home & enjoy the new room and apartment that we're getting ready for her! 

These little things (and even bigger things) may not seem like a big deal to you... but to me, they're blissful moments and bring me peace.

A Commentary for a "Back to School World"

"It's that time of year!" Television, radio, internet, magazines, newspapers, stores, signs everywhere are announcing it's Back to School Time!

Wow! I didn't realize how much our society revolves around the traditional school year until we stepped away from regular school. On every channel, I see "Back to School Sale" commercials for clothes, shoes, electronics and school supplies.. At the grocery store, I glance at magazines that share their "School Night Dinner Recipes" and "Tips for Getting Your Kids Ready for School". I've even seen the pictures and video clips of parents who are dancing, singing and acting like they won the lottery because they're kids are finally going back to school! Woo-hoo!! Everyone is so happy!!!

As happy as parents are that their kids are finally going back to school, I wonder if they've forgotten the frustrations, problems and even heartaches from the months of the previous school year. Common Core (There! I said it!). Increasing hours of homework. Cookie cutter learning. Stress from over-testing. Teachers who are overwhelmed with overcrowded classrooms. Budget cuts in the arts. Bullying. Cyberbullying. Promiscuity. School Violence. 

Let's talk about bullying for a moment. I just read an article,"Safety Net" by Lambeth Hochwald, in the September issue of Family Circle. In her article, Ms. Hochwald shared that "up to one in three kids report being victimized at school" and "49% of students between grades 4 and 12 say they've been targeted at least once in the past month". 

Being the new kid in elementary, middle and high school (we moved around a lot), I was often bullied. Our son was bullied in school, as were some of his friends. Statistics don't lie, bullying has become more rampant than ever. Not only is bullying on the rise, but it's getting worst in ways we never could have never imagined! Cyberbullying that is 24/7. Cruel videos of kids who are being victimized floating around the Internet. Apps and websites that are virtual playgrounds for kids to bully each other in anonymity. More news of kids retaliating with unspeakable violence. Did we ever think that bullying could be taken to these new, scary levels?

In August and September, we try not to think about these things. Parents are optimistic and hopeful for a good year...but aren't we just sweeping these problems under the rug? Trying to focus on the happy, back to school season until these many issues start rearing their ugly heads. We'll keep sweeping until the lump under the rug gets bigger and bigger...and then we'll have to deal with it. Year after year. It just gets harder and harder. As a parent, you don't know what to do. 

In previous posts, I've mentioned that there are a lot of freedoms that go along with being a homeschool family. Freedom from scheduling vacations around the school year. Freedom in having your days be less stressful. Freedom in having your child's learning be a hands-on experience. Freedom in knowing your child is in a safe, learning environment. Freedom in teaching your child to learn in the way that is best suited for him or her.  What I know, as a homeschool parent, is there is a freedom in not being of the "Back to School World". Freedom is being blessed to be able to do what is best for your child and family.

I'm through with sweeping things under the rug. Our happiness is year round now....not just the first months of fall or first months of summer.. 

Moving and a reality check.

Packing! Ugh!!! You don't realize how much time, energy and stamina is required to pack all of your family's belongings until you actually pack up and move somewhere. As I've shared in my last post, we're beginning our homestudy to adopt a little girl from foster care. This means, not only do we have a boatload of paperwork, meetings and training to complete...but we also have to move out of our current two bedroom apartment to a three bedroom apartment in our development in the beginning of September. For all of you keeping track, we are: packing and moving to a bigger apartment, completing a homestudy through our county, preparing our family in learning about foster-adoption, getting our home ready for a little girl and homeschooling. My poor iPhone is pinging every five minutes with reminders and deadlines!

Right now in our homestudy, my husband and I have to list all of the places we've lived in, for past 26 years, as part of a background clearance check. We also did this 13 years ago for our son's homestudy.  For those of you who haven't moved around that much, this listing every place you've lived may not seem like a daunting task. However, my husband and I moved around a lot as kids / teens. He and I met in college in North Carolina, became engaged, moved to Florida for graduate school and got married....and moved around some more...and more. In the past 26 years, I've lived in 13 different places and not including the apartment we're moving into next month. On paper, this was an eye opener for me. That may not sound like many places, especially to all those wonderful men and women in the military, who move around so much with their families! If you do the math (and I'm a homeschool mom so I try to make everything a teachable moment), the average is moving every two years! That actually hasn't been the case, as we lived in our last home in Pennsylvania for almost nine years.

We moved up to New York more than two years ago for my husband's work and it was one of the best decisions we ever made.  Don't get me wrong, moving is always a challenge! However, when we think of moving, we usually think of it being as something that will eventually bring a positive or good change in our lives, don't we? Whether we move for our education, careers or home life....we tend to equate moving as a hopeful opportunity for growth. Change is a good thing and in just about every situation in our lives, change = growth. In many instances, that change will require us to move somewhere new.

Now, I want you to picture a scared child or teenager who is in foster care. She has been taken away from her birth family (for whatever reason) and she is very traumatized. She has been placed in a foster home and everything is unfamiliar to her. The past grownups in her life have let her down and she is just trying to keep up with all of the changes and decisions that the new grownups are making for her. She may have siblings or relatives that she wants to see, but maybe the new grownups can only let her see them once in a while. Just when she starts to get used to things in this foster home, the new grownups come back and make her move to another one...and another one. Every few years? Try every few months! She is very scared, mad, hurt and frustrated. She is frustrated because the new grown ups keep moving her around. They make her put everything she has into one bag or suitcase and she takes it every time they move her. The new grownups tell her she can't go home, they're trying to find her a new forever home and this is why they keep moving her around so much. The thing about this little girl...is that she won't give up. The children in foster care? They never give up. They are braver than all of us. They all hope someday for a forever home. And they don't give up.

If we never became a homeschool family, we would have never made the realization that we were blessed enough to adopt a child from foster care. We would have just kept living our lives, focused on regular school and our lives built around a regular school schedule. When I think of our moving into a bigger apartment and all of the positive moves that we've made in our lives, I now think of the moves that children in foster care must make every day. Whenever our little girl finally moves home with us, we have a lot of healing that we need to give to her. I always say that we're blessed beyond measure...and we are....

As a homeschool family, the most important lesson we've learned is not from a book, worksheet or curriculum. We've learned this lesson from God. To always have hope and faith in Him and to never give up. Not only are we learning it from the Lord, but somewhere out there, a little girl is also teaching this very lesson to us.

"Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Long time, no blog!

Happy Summer!  I apologize to the handful of folks who actually read my blog...its been a hectic summer!  We're busy with new adventures, big plans and a lot of good things in store. And my fractured foot last month (blah)!

Here's what we've been up to-

• I fractured my foot at the beginning of June. How did I do this? Rock climbing? Training for a mud run? Nope! I was walking down our stairs and missed a step! D'oh! I had to hobble around town in a big, stinky orthopedic boot for four weeks! On July 3rd, I was given the all-clear and now the boot is stinking up our laundry room.
• During that time,  we took an extended break from schooling. Our son made a bet with me that I couldn't go one day without talking about anything related to homeschool. I lost at the end of that first day. Did he really think I wouldn't tell him about the email I received announcing the huge sale on frog dissection kits?
• We resumed homeschooling at the beginning of this month and began our "year round homeschool schedule" (cue dark, foreboding music).  Its actually going quite well and the transition has been a good one. Our homeschool motto "Learning never stops!" is received with less eye-rolling when I remind our son of the following equation. One hot, boring day + a few hours of homeschool = EXTENDED FALL OR WINTER VACATION (and a couple of extra days off every month). Woo-hoo!
• That being said, I'm letting our son take the lead in what he wants to learn this summer. We're still covering the basics: reading, writing and arithmetic. However, we're letting him study his interests a little more in depth. Things like earth and life science, famous war battles, outdoor survival skills, computer technology....and how to plan a future career as a Minecraft Designer...or Minecraft Player...or The Next Stampylonghead.
• We're spending some awesome quality time with homeschool friends and new friends from church. We've learned there is a HUGE difference between "quantity socialization time" versus "quality friend time". I'm just sayin'!
• I'm getting ready for our son and my husband's birthday on July 27th. Yup...they have the same birthday! I tend to go a little batty this time of year in planning their big day!

Finally.....drum roll, please! Brrrruummmm.....................

We are thrilled to announce that we are beginning the homestudy process to adopt our second child! After consideration, family discussion and prayer, we agree that we are so blessed to be able to start another adoption journey! We're starting our homestudy classes and training (yes, lots of homework for this mom and dad) in September.  We hope to be done with our homestudy in mid-November.  We hope to adopt a little girl sometime next year.

Blessed beyond measure!!!

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8

Enjoy the rest of your summer, everyone!  :)